Another Year...

So yesterday I had an internal melt-down. I was reminded that my son gets out of school on the 23rd (THIS FRIDAY) and he'll be in the third grade soon. YIKES! And then shortly thereafter, I'll be turning 29. I knoooow. I know. It's only 29.. There are a lot of people a LOT older than me that are baffled when someone my age even brings up the age factor. I started early on most things though. 15 1/2 I was an on-air personality until i was almost 19. As soon as I graduated High School I went straight to college over the summer, and continued until I got pregnant with my son at age 19. By 20 I was starting my venture as a single mom- working multiple jobs, and still trying to have my own identity when my son would go to his dads on the weekends. It really seems like the past 8 years have flown by at an incredible rate. And somehow, while trying to figure out how to mold my son into a well-behaved, productive member of society; that doesn't feel like he's "owed" anything from this world, I forgot that stopping and soaking up all that he's learning is VITAL. Not just for him. But for me too. It seems like we're so busy trying to educate, lead, guide, support and love on our kids, that we forget to watch them use what we've taught them. I took Janson to the park yesterday. I pulled my cell phone out only to take pictures of him. I watched him interact with the other kids using the tools I've given him. I couldn't be more proud. My parents always told me that the years would eventually start to fly by. I know it's only 29... But I don't want to be that mom and wife that's oblivious. I also don't want to be that mom that spends so much time running that I hit some psychotic mid-life crisis, later on down the road, because I feel like everything I've done was in vain. I wanna see that all of this time I've invested has paid off. And the only way I can do that is if i take a break from delegating for a moment. Take a break from running. Slow down. Watch him grow and use what's in his tool belt. These years are going to be behind us soon. I want to savor it all. I still have responsibilities, but right in this moment my biggest one is making sure that Janson knows that I'm not just there... But I'm present.... emotionally, mentally, and physically. Auto- pilot is too easy to fall into. I know, I've seen me do it. I'm ok with my birthday coming, and I'm ok with 29,30,40,50. I'm also OK with my son growing up. I just want to make sure I don't look back and wish I had given more. SO here's to another year older. Here's to not just leading, teaching, loving and guiding. Here's to being present.